June 9, 2006
Compassionate Parenting
Raising the Emotional
Intelligence of Parents and Children
Have better relationships with your
children; enjoy them, guide them, and learn from them. The regular
practice of Compassionate Parenting is guaranteed to increase
cooperation, self-esteem, and self-discipline, while simultaneously
reducing anger, resentment, and hostility in children and
parents.
Compassionate Parenting raises emotional intelligence through heavy
emphasis on before-the-fact emotional motivation of behavior, rather
than after-the-fact consequences. The result is much more effective
discipline that does nothing to detract from the crucial
relationship between parents and children.
Elements of Compassionate Parenting:
- Learn from your children
- Understand their experience
of the world.
- Understand their emotional
motivations.
- Understand your emotional
responses to them.
- Enjoy them
- Value them
- Guide them
- Empower them
- Allow them to be themselves.
Compassion Does Not
Mean...
- Letting children get away with
bad or selfish behavior;
- Overindulgence;
- Materialistic generosity.
Compassion Means...
- Seeing beneath the surface of
children's behavior to the deeper motivations for their
behavior;
- Empowering children to control
their own behavior by teaching them to regulate their emotions
and impulses.
The Compassionate Parenting program
deepens emotional connections among all family members. This allows
parents to guide their children’s behavior and help them reach their
fullest potential. It helps children develop the Five R’s of
Successful Living:
- Resourcefulness
- Responsibility
- Respect
- Relationship investment
- Regulation of impulses and
emotions
Available
from our online store:
Compassionate Parenting
A 10-week structured course for resentful, angry, anxious, and
overwhelmed parents. Create deeper parent-child connections through
increased interest and enjoyment. Parents and children increase
emotional intelligence. Empowering-discipline helps children achieve
optimal growth, development, cooperation skills, and moral courage.
Research shows that children learn to regulate their emotions,
eliminate temper tantrums, and reduce bad behavior when they can put
their feelings into words. When the brain has no way to label or
otherwise discriminate among the various meanings it gives to events
and behaviors, it tends to funnel all emotional response into the
form of arousal that gives the most temporary power: anger. Model
dialogue shows how to teach key vocabulary words to children.
HEALSTM CD-ROM
Step by step guide to a proven effective emotional
regulation technique that, with repetition (an average of 12 minutes
daily for six weeks) becomes a habit the brain does automatically.
More:
My Good Heart: Drawing the Greatness Inside You
This drawing book, for ages 5 to 10, presents a fun, non-preachy
format for learning compassion, anger-regulation, and core value.
Notes for Parents: The My Good Heart
drawing book reinforces the core value of children. Core value forms
the foundation of self-esteem, competence, creativity, achievement,
self-care, and compassion.
The good heart concept helps children
build internal regulation of emotions and impulses to prevent the
ordinary experience of disappointment, anxiety, sadness, and anger
from devaluing the sense of self. It helps them learn compassion for
themselves and for others. Care givers can reinforce the power of
the Good Heart by saying something like:
"Rub your Good Heart to make it
better."
Children get in touch with their own
core value when encouraged to look for value in other people, even
difficult people.
"Way to go! You recognized the Good
Heart of another person!"
Children will want to know about
other kids acting out and adults doing cruel things. Emphasize that
misbehaving children and cruel adults are not devoid of Good Hearts.
Rather, they are merely out of touch with them. This same thought,
incorporated into normal safety precautions for children, can be
expressed as:
"Because some people are out of touch
with their Good Hearts, you need to be careful not to talk to
strangers."
A Deeper Understanding of Your
Children
Try this
experiment. Draw what you think your child will draw. Then compare
your drawing with the child's
A Note for Professionals
The My Good Heart drawings
provide a wealth of diagnostic and treatment material. Choices of
color, figures, shadows, etc., have the usual art therapy
significance. The book as a whole has been used as a pre and post
test to measure the effectiveness of treatment. Children enjoy
drawing in the book and usually want to return to favorite sections
of it repeatedly in the course of treatment.
COMPASSION POWER
SERIES - "BOOT CAMPS" for parents
Stop
walking on eggshells! Turn resentment, anger, or emotional abuse
into a compassionate, loving relationship
Anger and Health: The affects on
anger and the family
Family Violence: Why we hurt the
ones we love
Compassionate Parenting: Raising the emotional intelligence of
parents and children
Emotional
Abuse: You are not the cause of his anger or abuse
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