Nourishing family ties
Dinner together improves children's
nutrition, manners and behavior, experts say
By T.J. Banes
August 27, 2006
 On
her way home to Indianapolis earlier this month for a family
visit, Meganne Hoffman called her mother to request her favorite
dinner: Honey-mustard chicken, rice and fresh veggies.
"Ever since I was a young child, I
remember having dinner together as a family. If Dad was running
late, we would wait for him to say grace . . . It doesn't matter
what is served at the table -- grilled cheese or grilled salmon
-- it's all the same. What's important is the time we spend
together," said Hoffman, 25, a resident adviser for St. Mary's
College in Rome.
How to keep it together (click
here)
New research suggests more and more
families are reclaiming mealtime as family time -- and the
benefits extend beyond the dinner table. Experts say eating
together as a family helps children steer clear of dangerous
behaviors, improves their grades and helps parents stay
connected to their children's lives.
It's not always easy, though.
Competing with soccer games, piano lessons, homework and the
schedules of dual-income families can be challenging.
Barbara Mayfield, a registered
dietitian with Purdue University's Department of Food and
Nutrition, says families can eat together if they:
Make mealtime a priority.
Make it easy by planning.
Consider the benefits.
"It doesn't have to be Ozzie and
Harriet, where Mom is in an apron, serving a pot roast," said
Mayfield, director of the Promoting Family Meals Project. "If
Mom is serving pot roast, it might be picked up at the grocery.
"The food industry and restaurants
are making it easier for us by offering precooked or shortcut
meals."
In a recent report by the National
Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia
University, 58 percent of teens said they ate dinner with their
families at least five times a week, compared to 47 percent in
1998. Overall, 52 percent of the teens who have fewer than three
family meals a week said they would like more.
According to the report, the older
the teens, the less likely they are to have dinner with their
families.
It doesn't have to be that way.
Mayfield suggests that family members work together to prepare
meals -- chopping vegetables and setting the table, for example.
"Make the kitchen a focus. Some of
the best traditions and memories start in the kitchen."
For Robyn Young of the Westside,
dinner isn't dinner until everyone is home.
"It may be 5 p.m., before we run off
to soccer practice, or 8 p.m., after practice, but we don't eat
unless we're together," said Young, a media specialist at Avon
High School. Her husband, Dale, is a police officer. Daughters
Kayla, 9, and Jocelyn, 12, play soccer on different teams and
have an average of two hours of homework nightly.
"Sometimes we'll sit down the night
before and decide what's for dinner the next night. We buy in
bulk and keep our freezer and pantry stocked," said Young, 38.
"Sometimes dinner is the only time we get to connect in a given
day. I've never thought of it as an option. It's just the way it
is."
For the Youngs, dinner is a time to
discuss schoolwork, chores and schedules. There's no TV, and the
phone and doorbell go unanswered.
"There's no lull in conversation. We
stress manners, and sometimes my husband doesn't get a word in
edgewise, so it's a good time to practice listening to each
other," said Young.
Researchers at Harvard University
Medical School found that adolescents who join their families
for meals have healthier eating habits than those who eat on
their own or away from home.
They consume more fruits and
vegetables, and their diets contain high levels of fiber,
calcium and iron. It also establishes tradition.
A year ago, Brian Pugh, 45, and his
wife, Kathi, 46, made what he calls "one of the best decisions"
of their lives. Both work full time; half of Brian's time is
spent traveling.
Sunday night is family time. Four
generations gather in the dining room of the Pughs' Southside
home -- their two sons, 20, and 18; their daughter, 26, and her
family; and Brian and Kathi's parents.
"I grew up in a large family with
six brothers and three sisters. The family meal was everything
to me," said Brian Pugh. "I remember eating Sunday dinners and
watching Walt Disney movies. It dawned on me that our kids and
parents are getting older, and we needed to put a stake in the
ground and make this happen.
"We play games, share stories and
just talk about our lives. Most important, we're all at home,
having quality time together."
According to the CASA survey, the
majority of teens recall discussing the following topics at the
family table: school and sports, friends and social events,
current affairs and family issues. They indicated that they also
would like to discuss religion, curfews, peer pressure, dating
and substance abuse. Seventy-two percent of the teens who ate
with their families five to seven times a week said they would
go to their parents if they had a problem. In the same category,
69 percent of the teens felt their parents are proud of them.
Growing up the eldest of four
children put Meganne Hoffman in a leadership role as the first
to leave home. When she graduated from college and took a job in
Italy, her memories of family time became priceless.
Six people -- including teen
triplets -- going in six different directions made it more
important than ever to make mealtime special, said Hoffman, who
returned to Rome after seeing her siblings off to three
different colleges.
Howard and Mary Anne Hoffman planned
meals, recognizing their children's accomplishments with a
special red dinner plate printed with the words: "You Are
Special."
On the rare occasions when dinner
together wouldn't work, they shared brunch. Sometimes extra kids
joined the family, and if someone was running late, dinner was
held in the warming drawer.
"The six of us share a close bond,
regardless of the distance. When I'm away, I miss the family
dinners when we swap stories about our days, share memories,
tease each other and simply enjoy each other's company," Meganne
Hoffman said.
"When I come back home to visit
again in May and the triplets return from college, I know one of
the first things we will do is sit down together for a family
meal."
How to keep it
together:
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