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David
Polreis
2 years old
Killed 2/11/1996
Victim of Attachment Therapy - Adopted
Greeley, Colorado
ARTICLES:
Information re David Polreis' death
Terrible Two : Renee Polreis and her adopted
son had a miserable life together--until someone put an end to it
A Deep Attachment : A New Mexico couple
grieves for David Polreis, the prospective son they never got to
meet
Additional articles

Renee and David Polreis Sr
leave a court
session during her trial She was eventually
convicted of killing their two-year-old adopted
son, after a jury rejected her claim of self-
defense. AT proponents, and a few others,
would afterwards try to shift some of the
blame for Renee’s actions onto David Sr,
claiming that he was distant and unsupportive
of her. Most Attachment Therapy views the
father as largely irrelevant in treatment,
and many are conspicuously uninvolved.
Information:
After waiting almost four years for
an explanation, the public finally heard what happened the night
two-year-old David Polreis was killed in one of the most publicized
cases involving AT.
The original trial was one of the
first where Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) was a significant
element for the defense. As with other attempts to blame the tragic
outcome on the child, it was to fail. But Renee Polreis and her AT
defenders keep trying.
Renee, who’d adopted the boy from
Russia six months before his death, told a rapt courtroom that she
apparently “lost it” the night of February 9, 1996. In the short
time she had the boy, she testified, he’d driven her crazy with his
tantrums and bizarre behavior, and it was destroying her marriage.
Renee claimed that the tragic
climax occurred after she had caught David sexually abusing himself
with a spatula handle and he had smeared feces throughout the
laundry room and Renee
“He came at me,” she testified at
the June 13 hearing, at which she requested a reduction in the
22-year prison sentence imposed after her 1997 trial. “I hit him
with the spatula. I fought him. I didn’t want him to hurt me. I
didn’t want to hurt him, either.”
It was essentially what prosecutors
had believed all along. They’d suspected that the boy, who was
reported as suffering from Reactive Attachment Disorder, had driven
Polreis to the edge with behaviors that included physical attacks on
her and her other adopted son. But it hadn’t
stopped them from charging her with child abuse resulting in death,
or in fighting her request for a sentence reduction later.
Polreis’s accounts kept changing
during the original trial. First it was that the child had beaten
himself to death. Then it was that David had attacked Renee, and she
killed the 24-pound boy in self-defense. Observers, prosecutors, and
ultimately the jury had trouble accepting any of it.
The parents had been taking AT
therapists, Byron Norton and Lloyd Boggs, the latter trained at the
Attachment Center of Evergreen (ACE). Mourners at little David’s
funeral were asked to make contributions in his name — to ACE. From
that point on, the AT community rallied to her defense.
Polreis’s lawyers called Foster
Cline to the stand at the sentence-reduction hearing in 2000. Cline,
a former Evergreen psychiatrist who lectures and publishes out of
Idaho, has been one of Colorado’s most controversial medical
figures, and a founder of the AT movement. In his opinion, Cline
said on the stand, David Polreis had suffered from RAD. But that
wasn’t why he’d paid his own way to testify. Cline had come to
Colorado to plead for leniency for Polreis.
“I’m doing it because there’s been
a great wrong, and I don’t feel this woman’s life should be ruined
because of this incident,” Cline told the court. “I believe in
justice, but in an abnormal situation like I believe this is, the
justice system can go wrong. In an abnormal situation, a mother can
go wrong.”
Cline claimed to have seen
firsthand what RAD-afflicted children can do to a family: parents
seeking help for their children describe six-year-olds who hit,
bite, swear, scream and kick, four-year-olds who try to choke a
younger sibling, boys who hide knives under their beds, girls who
threaten to kill their parents while they sleep.
The judge reduced the imposed
sentence from 22 years to 18. Under current guidelines, she could
become eligible for parole sometime in 2009.

Terrible Two : Renee Polreis and
her adopted son had a miserable life together--until someone put an
end to it.
October 10, 1996
By Karen Bowers
In the weeks before her adopted son
died, Greeley business owner Renee Polreis told friends she had come
to fear David. Where others saw a delightful two-year-old towhead,
she saw a monster who was destroying her marriage and making life,
in her own words, a living hell.
David's tantrums were horrific,
Renee told friends, and he seemed to care for everyone but her.
Though the boy, an orphan adopted from Russia, had lived with the
family for just six months, Renee confided that she wished
desperately to give up custody. The only reason she didn't was that
her husband, Dave, a vice president with the ConAgra conglomerate,
resisted.
It was with uneasiness, then, that
Renee saw her husband off for a trip to Houston on the morning of
Friday, February 9. For the first time, she'd be alone with David
and the couple's four-year-old son, Isaac, for an entire weekend.
Friends offered to lend a hand should she need anything, but the
42-year-old Renee was relieved from some of the burden when her
mother invited Isaac to spend Friday night with her.
Less than twelve hours after
Renee's mother left the Polreis home with Isaac in tow, David lay
dying on the floor of Renee's spacious bathroom. Renee--a woman
friends describe as patient, religious and a wonderful mother--had
allegedly beat the toddler to death. Police believe that she hit the
boy repeatedly with a wooden spoon. When the spoon broke, they
believe, she picked up another one and resumed the beating until
that one broke, too.
Emergency-room doctors said the boy
was cut and bruised over 90 percent of his body. According to the
autopsy report, the boy was beaten so badly that he threw up and
choked on his own vomit, cutting off oxygen to his brain. A second
pathologist, after reviewing the autopsy report, says the boy
suffered what amounted to "abject torture."
One of Renee's friends later told
police that Renee had been afraid something like this would happen.
According to adoption caseworker Kathy Edick, Renee said she'd told
her therapist that "if she ever hit David, she wouldn't be able to
stop."
David's death and his mother's
arrest on a charge of child abuse resulting in death have cracked
the complacent facade of Greeley, a quiet agricultural community
that has retained a small-town feel despite seeing rapid growth in
recent years. The case has created a rift among friends of the
Polreis family over Renee's guilt or innocence. And it has added to
the debate about an already controversial psychological theory known
as attachment disorder.
Renee Polreis declined to be
interviewed about her case. But when asked how to best tell her side
of the story during a break in a court hearing last month, she told
a reporter to "just research attachment disorder."
According to that theory, which was
applied to young David Polreis by a Greeley psychologist, children
who have been abused or abandoned at an early age--particularly
adopted children--are prone to violence and rage. "Attachment
disorder" has exploded onto the therapeutic scene in recent years,
with significant increases in reported diagnoses and in the number
of therapists offering treatment for the condition.
Children who suffer from attachment
disorder, say therapists, tend to be superficially charming to
outsiders while exhibiting cruelty to their parents, to animals and
to other children. Those with the most severe form of the disorder
are destructive, assaultive and might act out sexually.
Renee's repeated assertion that
David was an "unattached child"--the most severe form of attachment
disorder--has generated support for her from across the country from
parents of children similarly diagnosed. According to Renee's friend
Helen Kunze of Denver, Renee has received more than 100 calls and
letters from other adoptive parents, many of whom have offered to
testify on her behalf when she goes on trial next month.
Some of Renee's friends, however,
believe she was victimized by child therapists who confirmed and
then exaggerated her worst fears about her son. Others are angry at
Renee and at her Denver attorneys, who they say appear to be
building a defense around the psychological disorder as a way to
excuse the boy's injuries and death.
"I'm concerned about the whole
thing being portrayed as being the victim's fault," complains a
business acquaintance of Renee's who asks not to be identified. "I
don't care if this child was the devil himself. I don't care if he
attacked his mother with a knife. That is no reason to beat him to
death.
"Her own mother said to me, 'You
know that Renee could not have done this,'" the woman continues.
"But I think that's what the family has done to protect its own
psyche. They're saying, 'Look what this child did to us.' It's like
they believe a devil child came into the family and ruined it.
"And I keep saying, 'Give me
something to go on. Give me a reason that will explain why this
happened.' And I have yet to hear it."
Like many long-married couples who
decide to adopt children, Renee and Dave Polreis arrived at the
decision only after enduring years of medical exams and ignominious
probings that ended with the same result--a failure to conceive.
It was during this period of
alternating hope and despair in the 1980s that Renee befriended
Tracy Kimsey, a client at the electrology business that Renee owned
just off the main highway through town. Kimsey, who was then
struggling with her own inability to carry a child, describes their
first meeting as a memorable occasion.
"She came over to me," Kimsey
recalls, "and she said, 'Hi! I'm Renee. I'm infertile, too.' We hit
it off great."
Renee was "doing difficult tests
and all those things [the doctors] make us do," Kimsey says. "I had
suffered miscarriages. But for her, the pregnancy thing was just not
happening."
By late 1991, both the Kimseys and
the Polreises decided to adopt--a process that was not without its
own travails. The red tape and home visits ate up time and
considerable amounts of money. Tracy and her husband, Richard, had
wanted to bring home an infant, she says, but couldn't afford the
higher costs associated with such an adoption, which they estimated
at tens of thousands of dollars. Instead, the Kimseys adopted two
older girls, sisters aged six and eight.
But the Polreises did have the
funds to ensure they'd get an infant. Dave had been named a vice
president of ConAgra (formerly Monfort) in 1992, and Renee's
electrology business was thriving. An old friend of Renee's, Julie
Haralson of the Colorado Adoption Center in Fort Collins, helped
make the arrangements. Six to eight months after the Kimseys took in
their girls, the Polreis's adoption went through.
Renee and Dave named the boy, who
was from an American family, Isaac. He was, according to Renee's
friends, a good baby. He loved his new parents, and they loved him.
When he grew older, his daycare providers described him as friendly
and bright.
Renee "absolutely adored" Isaac,
says Sandy Bright, owner of the daycare center that both Polreis
boys would eventually attend. "It seemed to me that she was a
wonderful mother.
"Everything," Bright adds, "took a
backseat to the children." Renee cut back on her work schedule after
adopting Isaac, says Bright, and placed the boy at the daycare
center on a part-time basis. When she needed a babysitter, Renee's
mother, Alice Risk--who lived nearby with Renee's brother Kevin and
his family--would sometimes stay with Isaac.
It was a joyful time for Renee and
her husband. The Kimseys however, were struggling with their new
daughters.
Prior to adopting the girls, the
Kimseys had taken part in a three-day training course sponsored by
the adoption agency with which they were working. The classes, Tracy
Kimsey says, were designed to show the best and worst aspects of
adoption. The worst-case scenario in the presentation was the
adoption of an unattached child.
"We had a full day on attachment
disorder, and it scares the bejeebers out of you," Kimsey recalls.
Children with a mild attachment disorder, participants were told,
might hold back affection. Others might lie and steal. The
completely unattached child was the most severe case. "It's deadly,"
Kimsey says. "Literally."
Kimsey says the agency told the
prospective parents that if they couldn't handle the possibility of
receiving an unattached child, they should stop the adoption
process. "There was one couple who didn't come back," Kimsey notes.
But the Kimseys decided that they
could handle it. They ended up adopting two girls, both of whom had
attachment disorder.
Love, the Kimseys reasoned, would
conquer all. It didn't.
Attachment theory has been around
for thirty years. It is grounded in the belief that infants who do
not receive sufficient care or attention in the first eighteen
months of life may end up severely damaged.
Eighty percent of the children who
suffer from attachment disorders are adoptive children, says Gail
Trenberth, the Boulder-based president of the Attachment Disorder
Parents Network. Many of those children, she says, were abandoned or
abused by their natural parents.
According to the theory, children
afflicted with milder forms of the disorder have difficulty bonding
with family members and friends. On the other end of the attachment
spectrum are so-called "unattached" children, who may become a
danger to themselves and to others. A fascination with gore and fire
are reportedly typical of the most severely afflicted. Trenberth
cites the case of an eighteen-month-old child who battered an infant
to death with a metal truck. Evergreen child psychiatrist Foster
Cline, who was a pioneer in the field of attachment therapy, has
described these children as future Ted Bundys and Unabombers.
While her own daughter was still
quite young, Trenberth says, the toddler did something that
Trenberth says she can only describe as a suicide attempt. The girl,
she says, began stuffing toilet paper down her throat and did not
stop, even though she was turning blue from a lack of oxygen.
Trenberth trotted the child from
one type of therapy to another until she found the Attachment Center
in Evergreen. There, she says, her daughter was diagnosed as
suffering from the worst case of attachment disorder the therapists
had ever seen. The girl was sent to live with a "therapeutic foster
family" that had been specially trained to deal with unattached
children.
Trenberth herself was taught how to
parent the child. Part of the therapy involved "holding," in which a
child is held down forcibly while a therapist incites the child to
rage. According to proponents of the therapy, making the child
acknowledge his or her rage is key to the healing process.
It took Trenberth's daughter two
years to turn her life around. But Trenberth says it was worth it.
She says her daughter, now in high school, is a loving, nurturing
young woman.
But not everyone is as pleased with
the treatment--or the diagnoses. "One of the problems," says Elise
Katch, a clinical social worker in Denver, "is that a lot of people
say they are attachment specialists when they really don't have a
clear idea of what they're doing. Attachment disorder is a
catch-all, like attention deficit disorder, in that kids who do not
relate well socially or who act out have a tendency to be diagnosed
as having this."
Katch says that what therapists may
refer to as symptoms of attachment disorder can instead be a natural
response to trauma. "When kids act 'crazy,' what they are doing may
be a normal reaction to an abnormal situation," she says. "If a kid
is traumatized and doesn't act out, then there's going to be
problems down the road, because they're sitting on their feelings."
In addition, Katch says, holding
therapy may be precisely what a child in that position can't
tolerate. Imagine, she says, a child that has been abused by an
adult. How will that child react to being held down? In some cases,
Katch says, holding therapy is downright cruel.
Tracy Kimsey, however, doesn't
agree. Her daughters had been taken from their natural mother when
the eldest was three years old and the youngest just eighteen
months. For the next five years they'd lived in a foster home--and a
good one, Kimsey says.
"My oldest daughter," she says,
"was a big pleaser. Miss Manipulation. She'd do anything to make us
happy. That was the 'honeymoon' period. And then she let loose and
began being noncompliant, rude, hateful, mean and lazy. She was
pushing everyone away. Her best friend. Even her sister."
There was no honeymoon with the
younger girl, Kimsey says. "She didn't like us from day one. She was
determined not to put up with us. She'd go into fits where she
wouldn't talk. And she'd make herself throw up."
The Kimseys practiced holding
therapy with the girls, and a Greeley psychologist helped connect
them with a support group for other parents whose children had been
diagnosed with attachment disorder. Among other things, those group
members take turns providing respite care. "Any time, day or night,
you can drop the kids off when you need a break," Kimsey says. "And
believe me, you need it bad. It gets depressing and frustrating. You
cannot parent these children like you can other children. You can't
be lenient. You can't give an inch. You can't let your guard down.
Ever."
Despite their misgivings, however,
less than two years after adopting the girls, the Kimseys adopted an
eight-year-old boy who'd also exhibited problems with bonding.
Renee Polreis wanted another child,
too. Says Tracy Kimsey, "She thought she was going to get a regular
kid."
Late 1994 and 1995 was a stressful
time for Renee Polreis, neighbor Carol Trejo would later tell
police. The Polreises had recently moved into a large house in a
nice subdivision and had changed churches in the process. Renee had
experienced several deaths in her extended family, Trejo said. On
top of that, a family friend was awaiting a liver transplant. And
the couple's attempt to adopt a second child was not going well.
Renee confided to another friend,
Cindy Wilkinson, about her frustration with the adoption agency and
the problems she and her husband were experiencing in arranging a
placement. Wilkinson put her in touch with Kathy Edick, a
Colorado-based caseworker for Rainbow House International Adoptions.
Edick then referred Renee to agency director Donna Clauss.
Through her contacts abroad, Clauss
found a two-year-old Russian boy who was available for adoption.
Staffers at the orphanage where the boy lived sent a video to the
Polreises. The tape showed a blue-eyed, blonde-haired toddler
romping with other children on a playground.
Renee and her husband were ecstatic
about the prospect of adopting the boy. "Renee was so excited, she
could hardly stand it," says Sandy Bright.
But at least one woman in Renee's
circle was surprised by Renee's decision to adopt a Russian baby.
Renee, who attends St. Paul's
Congregational Church in Greeley, is a very religious person, Kathy
Brown told police after David's death, adding that Renee didn't like
Russians because they are "atheists." She said too that Renee had
dreaded going to Russia to pick up the child because she didn't want
to set foot in a country filled with non-believers.
But the Polreises decided they
wanted to go full speed ahead with the adoption anyway. In July 1995
Renee and her husband flew to Moscow, where they stayed with a host
family. It was a three-hour drive from Moscow to the town where the
orphanage was located and where their new son waited.
Clauss told police that she spoke
with Renee by phone while the Polreises were still in Russia and
remembered her complaining that the boy had vomited in the car on
the ride back to Moscow. Soon after the family's arrival back in the
United States, police reports say, Renee told Wilkinson that she had
been shocked by the toddler's incessant screaming after he was taken
from the orphanage. And Renee allegedly confided to Julie Haralson
that she was "already insane" by the time she returned to the United
States and that David was driving her crazy with his unruly
behavior. (Haralson now tells Westword that the police account of
that conversation is "probably not true.")
In Edick's first few conversations
with Renee after her return to the United States, Renee told her
that things seemed to be working out. David was having some trouble
adjusting to a sleeping schedule because of the time difference,
Renee said, but things were fine otherwise.
The couple threw a block party for
the neighborhood as a way of welcoming David into the fold. Renee
took time off from work so that she could be with the boy and help
him settle in, Bright says.
By October, however, Renee's
attitude had undergone a significant change. Renee, Edick told
police, said that she was experiencing difficulties with David and
that this adoption "did not feel the same" as Isaac's placement.
Renee was concerned by the emergence of sibling rivalry between the
two boys, and she was disturbed that she'd had to put them in
separate bedrooms because David would spit on his brother during the
night, keeping him awake.
While the women visited in the
kitchen, Edick told police, Renee asked if the staff at Russian
orphanages spank their charges with wooden spoons. The reason she
wondered, Renee said, was because one time when she'd pulled a spoon
from a drawer, David put his hands and face against the wall and
began sobbing as if in fear. Edick told police that she had Clauss
check to see if that form of punishment was the practice in Russia;
Clauss assured her that it was not.
By November, the situation in the
Polreis household had deteriorated even further. Edick said Renee
told her that David was manipulative and that, although he had
control of his bladder and bowels, he refused to use the toilet when
she was around. Renee reportedly believed that it was David's way of
controlling her.
According to police reports, Renee
also told Edick that the boy's behavior had led her to contact
Greeley psychologist Byron Norton and that during a play therapy
session, David selected a rubber knife from a group of toys and then
pretended to stab his mother with it. Renee said Norton advised her
not to take the attack personally. David, he explained, suffered an
attachment disorder, and when those children are angry, they act
out--particularly toward their mothers.
Edick also told police that Renee
was extremely upset over the knife incident, as well as by her
husband's apparent lack of concern when she related the incident to
him. She related to investigators a later conversation during which
Renee described Dave Polreis's reaction. "I hated my own mother,"
Dave Polreis reportedly told his wife, "and I turned out okay."
According to Edick, Renee said Norton responded by telling her that
Dave Polreis must have an attachment disorder, too.
Moreover, Edick told police, Renee
had said that Norton's prognosis for two-year-old David was bleak.
Norton reportedly told Renee that his own son had an attachment
disorder. And Norton knew, Renee told Edick, that kids like David
grow up to be criminals.
Byron Norton did not return phone
calls from Westword. But Edick was concerned enough about her
conversation with Renee that she arranged for her friend to meet
with another mother whose adoptive child had been diagnosed with an
attachment disorder. The meeting, held at Fat Albert's restaurant in
Greeley, was an eye-opener for Edick and for Cindy Wilkinson, who
also attended.
Edick told police that Renee said
she wanted to relinquish custody of David but that if she did so, it
would ruin her marriage. Renee reportedly added that her husband
didn't share her belief that the boy had serious problems and that
she felt he was being unsupportive.
Edick also told police that Renee
claimed she'd heard that 90 percent of parents with attachment
disordered kids end up abusing their children. Edick said she tried
to assure Renee that this was not the case. Her own daughter, whom
she'd adopted from Korea, had attachment issues, Edick told Renee.
She explained to Renee how she dealt with her anger and with her
daughter's anger.
Renee's response, according to
Edick, was that she didn't want to raise a child like Edick's.
Renee's problems with David were
surprising to many of the people who knew the family and who'd
watched Renee interact with the boy.
David appeared to be normal and
friendly, neighbor Trejo told police. He seemed happiest, she said,
when Renee would pull him around the block as he sat in his red
wagon. Neighbor Jack Stoller told the Greeley Tribune that David was
"cuter than a bug" and "just a little ball of joy."
But Renee claimed David would pinch
her arms until they were black and blue. Outsiders didn't see his
temper tantrums, although Alice Risk said she did, according to Weld
County social worker Natasha Smreker. The social worker told police
she was present at a deposition taken last month where Renee's
mother said that David had "fits" during which he would stiffen his
arms and fall to the ground, striking either his face or the back of
his head. Then he'd start screaming. The fits, Risk allegedly said,
lasted anywhere from one minute to half an hour, and sometimes David
would have as many as twelve fits in a day.
The fact that no one outside the
immediate family saw David exhibit abnormal, unruly behavior is not
inconsistent with attachment theory. Such children, experts say, are
generally well-behaved around strangers.
But David did not act out in other
ways that might be expected from an unattached child. Edick told
police that she happened to be at the Polreis home one day when
David's father returned from work. David called out, "Papa, Papa,"
and held out his arms to be picked up, Edick said. On another
occasion, David appeared delighted to see his grandmother and ran to
greet her at the door. "She'll want to pick him up," Renee allegedly
told Edick. But Renee wouldn't allow it--purportedly because
psychologist Byron Norton told her that hugging was not good for the
boy unless the child himself initiated it.
Edick told police that it appeared
to her that David was attached to his father and grandmother. He may
not have bonded as closely with Renee, Edick said.
David's teachers noticed much the
same things. The first time Renee left David at Bright's daycare
center, Bright tells Westword, David exhibited signs of severe
separation anxiety. "When she went out the door, he threw a huge
fit," she says. "When we tried to comfort him and hold him, he said,
'Nyet, nyet,'" reverting to his mother tongue.
Bright and Renee were extremely
pleased by David's emotional and noisy display, taking it to mean he
was bonding with his mother. "[Renee] had been warned not to get too
anxious about his attachment to her and to not expect too much too
soon," Bright says. "She'd been told that when she left, there was a
real possibility he wouldn't miss her."
David also seemed upset by the fact
that in daycare he was separated from Isaac, who was placed in a
room with other four-year-olds, says Bright. But it wasn't long
before David showed true delight at coming to daycare. According to
his primary daycare worker, Pamela Smith, when David arrived, he
would yell out her name and come running to give her a hug. David
got along well with the other kids in his group, Smith told police,
and though she'd occasionally seen David whack his brother Isaac,
David never really hurt the older boy.
However, Smith told police that
Renee told her David could be violent. Shortly before the boy died,
Smith said, Renee showed her a restraining technique that she'd
learned in therapy and that Smith was to use on David whenever he
flew into a rage. But, Smith said, David had never gotten out of
control at the center--she'd never even seen him angry. For that
matter, Smith told police, she'd never seen Renee angry or out of
control, either, and had never detected any sign that he was being
abused.
Once when Renee came to pick David
up from daycare, Smith told police, David fell and bumped his head.
Renee knelt beside the boy, put her hand on his forehead and prayed.
"I saw no signs of hostility or rage in Renee or [her husband],"
says Bright. "They are the most calm, peaceful, Christian people
that you'd ever want to meet."
Bright does recall seeing David
exhibit some inappropriate behavior toward his father. "I'd seen
David slap [his father] in the face," she says. "He didn't seem to
know the difference between a slap and a kiss. He'd slap hard and
then laugh. He thought he was being cute--he was only two and a
half.
"He was so new to them, he didn't
know better," Bright adds. "We were teaching him appropriate ways to
show affection."
And Bright says she believes David
felt true affection for the Polreises. "When his parents would come
to pick him up," Bright says, "[David] would get all excited, and he
and Isaac would run up and down the hall."
Whenever Renee lingered at the
center to talk with Bright, Dave Polreis would keep his boys
occupied with a boisterous round of hide-and-seek or some manner of
chasing game. During those conversations with Renee, Bright says,
her friend sometimes shared with her things she'd heard or come to
believe about attachment disorder. "She'd talk about counseling and
play therapy and support groups and about all the discouraging
information," Bright says.
According to Bright, Renee told her
that Norton had warned that David might never bond with the family
and that he could eventually pose a danger to Renee, her husband and
Isaac.
"[Renee] told me about this one
well-to-do family in Greeley that had adopted a boy," Bright
recalls. "They told her that they'd put locks on the inside of their
bedroom door because they were afraid that he would come into their
room at night and kill them. They said they'd lived in fear for
years and years and that as the boy got older and stronger, they
became more afraid. He finally ended up in a juvenile facility.
"I think that all that negative
information didn't help," Bright adds. "I just wonder...would she
have been so afraid of him at the end if she hadn't been told all
this?"
Bright wasn't the only one of
Renee's friends who expressed alarm at Renee's growing cynicism
toward David--or about her rush to embrace any and all disciplinary
methods offered by friends or therapists.
Renee had allegedly begun
disciplining her sons in a way taught to her by Lynn Roche, a woman
who sometimes babysat for the Polreis boys. According to what social
worker Smreker told police, Roche said during a deposition last
month that when her own children were bad, she'd take the child into
the bathroom and explain his offense to him. She said she'd then
make the child bare his behind before spanking him one or two times
with a wooden spoon. Then, she said, she'd say a prayer over the
child.
Smreker also told police that
Renee's brother, Kevin Risk, said that he'd seen Renee use that same
method on Isaac.
Renee's friend Kathy Brown told
police that Renee told her it was important to show David who was
the boss, even in matters like potty training. According to Brown,
Renee said David had been manipulating her through his toilet habits
and that as a result, she was making David get up in the middle of
the night and stand in front of the toilet until he urinated. Renee
told Brown it seemed to work.
Edick recommended to Renee several
times that she take David to another therapist, one who specialized
in attachment disorder. She urged Renee to meet with Lloyd Boggs, a
licensed clinical social worker from Fort Collins who was trained at
the Evergreen Attachment Center.
By the time Renee did call Boggs,
in late January 1996, she was clearly desperate. According to
Edick's statement to police, Renee said she'd told Boggs that she
and her husband were planning a short trip to Mexico without the
children and that if he could not see her before she left the
country, she was never going to come back home.
Bright says Renee was extremely
upset at the time over an incident in which David had bitten her
finger and refused to let go. Renee told friends that the boy
chomped down hard on her finger and that when she screamed, he got a
look on his face that suggested he was enjoying her pain. The
situation terrified her, a teary Renee allegedly told Bright.
Renee did see Boggs before leaving
on the trip, Edick told police, and the session left her feeling
more optimistic. According to Edick, Renee said she thought Boggs
was "wonderful."
However, Renee was less
enthusiastic when she and her husband returned from their trip.
Edick told police of a comment she heard Renee make--that Mexico was
heaven and she had come back to hell.
Renee and Dave Polreis returned
from Mexico in early February. Less than a week later, on Friday,
February 9, Renee drove her husband to the Greeley airport for a
flight to Houston, where Dave Polreis planned to visit an old
friend. Renee then spent part of her day at home, catching up with
her mother and her mother's friend, Kathy Teal.
Smreker told police that in a
deposition taken last month, Teal said that David sat on the floor
and did not interact with any of the three women. The boy, Teal
reportedly added, was still wearing his pajamas, even though it was
after 3 p.m.
Alice Risk confirmed, Smreker said,
that David spent the afternoon sitting by himself and "acting as
though he didn't wish to be a part of the family." Although Risk
offered to spend the night with her daughter, she instead wound up
taking Isaac home with her, leaving Renee with David.
According to Smreker, Risk added in
her deposition that she spoke with David by phone later that evening
and that he told her he did, in fact, want to be part of the family.
Dave Polreis also called home that
night, he told police. When he spoke to Renee sometime between 8 and
9 p.m., he told officers, Renee said nothing to indicate there was a
problem.
Kevin Risk's night's sleep ended
abruptly at 4 a.m. Saturday when the phone jangled him awake. His
sister Renee was on the other end. David, she told him, was choking,
and she needed him to come over right away and help her. Risk woke
his mother, and the two made the short drive to his sister's house.
When the Risks arrived at the
Polreis home, Kevin told a police detective, they ran to an upstairs
bathroom where they found David lying on his back. Renee was giving
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to her son, Kevin Risk said, and he
could see a brown fluid flowing from the boy's nose.
According to Kevin, Renee hurriedly
explained to him that David had been sleeping with her in her bed
when he began to choke. Kevin could not find a pulse on the stricken
boy and told his sister to call 911. She didn't. In a court hearing
last month, Alice Risk was asked about the delay in calling for
help. She explained that she was not terribly worried about the
boy's condition because she'd seen David have fits before. In fact,
Smreker told police that in her deposition last month, Alice Risk
said David "looked better than I'd ever seen him." Alice reportedly
added that she called Kathy Teal and asked her to come over and that
she told Renee to phone her therapists.
Nobody had yet called for an
ambulance. Renee took her mother's advice and phoned Byron Norton
and Lloyd Boggs. Both of those men have thus far declined to speak
with authorities about those conversations. But they apparently did
speak with Isaac's court-appointed guardian ad litem. The guardian,
Gayla Lindquist, later told police that Boggs said Renee admitted
that she'd hurt David.
Renee finally called for medical
assistance at 4:19 a.m. Shortly afterward, a man identifying himself
as a psychologist called 911 and asked if Renee Polreis had just
called for an ambulance. According to the 911 tapes, the
psychologist went on to say that he'd had a call from a client who
told him she had just beaten her son.
When firefighters got to the house,
they found Kevin Risk in the driveway talking on a cellular phone.
He told them to go up to the bathroom, where they found David alone
with Teal. According to a firefighter's report, when asked if David
had any medical problems, Teal responded that David was an
unattached child who'd been adopted from Russia and was undergoing
therapy. As a matter of fact, Teal informed them, David had seen a
counselor just the day before, and as part of his therapy, he'd had
to sit in a chair and face the wall all day long.
As soon as the firefighters
unzipped David's red sleeper pajamas, they told police, they
suspected the boy had been abused. His chest and stomach were
mottled with bruises. When asked how David could have gotten the
injuries, Teal reportedly again launched into a discussion of
David's psychological disorder.
Firefighter Curt Walter told
investigators that whenever he'd try to ask a question of Teal,
Renee or her mother and brother, they would all look at each other
before answering. When they finally did answer, Walter said, they
gave no specifics. Walter also told police that he felt the four
adults were unusually calm given the situation. He wrote in his
report that the family members didn't seem to be upset or agitated
at David's condition, nor did they seem overly concerned when the
firefighters began performing CPR on the boy.
In a court hearing last month,
Teal, who has been uncooperative with authorities, denied making the
comments about attachment disorder to the firefighters.
Officers who arrived at Greeley's
North Colorado Medical Center in time to see David wheeled into the
emergency room reported seeing severe purple bruises covering most
of David's chest and stomach and continuing down to his thighs. They
also observed cuts on his leg. When doctors removed David's diaper,
they found the boy's testicles red and swollen and the tip of his
penis bleeding.
Kevin Risk had followed the
ambulance to the hospital. His sister, however, never showed up at
the emergency room. Police reports say that when asked where Renee
was, Kevin Risk told officers that he expected her to come by later
but that she was trying to locate an attorney first. Another officer
testified in court last month that Renee told him the same
thing--and added that another reason she didn't visit her son was
that she was afraid of hospitals. Renee's defense attorneys are
attempting to have Renee's statement declared inadmissible at trial.
One of the people Renee phoned that
morning in her search for an attorney was Julie Haralson, who'd
helped with the adoption of Isaac. Haralson says Renee told her an
ambulance had just taken David away. Renee was calm, Haralson adds,
and told her that when David was released from the hospital, she did
not want him back, but instead wanted him placed in foster care.
Emergency-room doctors were unsure
at first if David had been beaten or if he had blood poisoning,
which might also have accounted for the severe bruising. They took
samples of David's blood and performed other tests, but by 6 a.m.
they determined that David's condition was so grave he should be
flown by helicopter to Children's Hospital in Denver.
The physicians at Children's
weren't as shy about stating the cause of David's condition. Dr.
Emily Dobyns told Greeley police that when the boy arrived at
Children's, he had no brain-stem function and was placed on life
support. She added that David had received one of the worst beatings
she'd ever seen on a child.
Dobyns showed the officers marks on
the boy's arms that appeared to have been made by fingers. David's
buttocks were blistered. She also pointed out some long, linear cuts
on the boy's abdomen, as if he'd been struck with a straight-edged
object. She told officers that the assault had to have occurred
within the past fourteen hours.
David was pronounced dead at 11:20
that same morning, but doctors kept his heart beating until
approximately 1:30 p.m., after Dave Polreis flew in from Texas.
Police asked Dave Polreis if he'd
seen any marks on David before leaving for Texas. He told them he
hadn't and added that this had come as a shock to him, because Renee
would not even beat an animal.
Dave Polreis, the officer noted in
a report, was very emotional during the course of the conversation.
When the officer left the room, Dave Polreis began to cry
uncontrollably.
Investigators were sidetracked in
their suspicions later that day when Dr. Thomas Harms, from the
Greeley hospital, informed them that David's blood had showed
positive for a condition known as disseminated intravascular
coagulation (DIC). Harms told investigators that the condition could
account for David's bruising.
The doctors at Children's, however,
disagreed with Harms. David, the Children's physicians told police,
did not have an infection--an opinion later backed up by the autopsy
report. And if his blood was positive for DIC, the doctors said, the
condition had been caused by the beating.
Investigators sought and received a
search warrant for the Polreis house and executed it the evening of
David's death. In their search, officers noted in their reports,
they found a broken wooden spoon wrapped inside a bloodied diaper in
the kitchen trash. At the bottom of the trash bag was another
bloody, broken spoon.
Officers also seized a
wooden-handled mirror and wooden brush from the master bathroom.
They noted, but did not take, a large wooden spoon they found in a
drawer of a downstairs bathroom.
By Sunday, February 11, police had
obtained an arrest warrant for Renee. She surrendered at police
headquarters that evening, accompanied by her husband and two men
she identified as pastors.
When Renee appeared in court the
following day, the courtroom and hall were jammed with friends and
well-wishers--in part, says an acquaintance, because Alice Risk had
phoned Renee's friends and asked them to come. Renee was released
from jail after posting an $80,000 cash bond.
David's funeral was held February
19 at St. Paul's. According to Ken Fulton, who runs the church's
family-ministries program, friends of the Polreises passed out an
information sheet about attachment disorder after the service. The
family asked that in lieu of flowers, donations be sent to the
Attachment Center in Evergreen.
But as more facts of the case
became known, some of Renee's friends pulled away from her.
Edick told police she wanted
nothing more to do with Renee after David died, but she had run into
her on a couple of occasions. The first time, Edick said, Renee told
her she hoped Edick didn't believe what she'd read about the case in
the papers. On their second chance meeting, Edick said, Renee
repeated that wish and then added that she hoped Edick didn't feel
guilty about how things had worked out, because she herself did not.
Edick described Renee's attitude as "flippant."
A business acquaintance of Renee's
says she has been appalled by the Polreises' attitude about the case
and that she was pleased when Renee's attorney, Harvey Steinberg,
announced in court earlier this summer that Renee might plead not
guilty by reason of insanity. (Instead, Steinberg has stuck with a
straight not-guilty plea to the charges.)
"Had they gone for temporary
insanity," the woman says, "that, I could understand. I have
children of my own, and I can imagine what it's like in the middle
of the night with an angry two-year-old. You're alone, you're
completely tired, at wits' end, and you go over the edge.
"But," she continues, "that kind of
abuse happens to people with no support system, people who are
isolated. And Renee has a great support system. She has lots of
friends, and her mother and brother are here."
People who know Renee, the woman
continues, are grasping at attachment disorder as an excuse for
David's death in the same way a drowning person clutches for a
straw. "No one can believe that this could happen in our safe little
middle-class world," she says. "No one can believe that someone we
know could do this."
Exactly how Steinberg plans to
frame a defense for Renee is not yet clear. Weld County District
Attorney Al Dominguez Jr., who's prosecuting the case himself, told
a judge last month that he's puzzled by exactly how issues of
attachment disorder and holding therapy will play into the case. In
the meantime, prosecutors are trying hard to obtain information from
Boggs and Norton about the therapists' discussions with Renee and
David. The issue of whether doctor-patient privilege applies will be
argued at a pretrial hearing scheduled for October 21.
Cindy Wilkinson told police that
Renee told her she didn't kill David and that he had a medical
condition known as DIC. Tracy Kimsey says that, given the tendency
of unattached children to hurt themselves, she thinks David might
have inflicted the fatal injuries on himself.
For now, things are quiet in the
Polreis case. Isaac, who was temporarily forbidden to live with
Renee after his brother's death, is now back with his mother.
However, a juvenile court judge has ordered that Alice Risk move in
with the Polreises and monitor her daughter's interactions with
Isaac.
Renee still works at her
electrology business and is trying to remain upbeat, says her friend
Helen Kunze. "She said it's in God's hands now," says Kunze.
And though Renee remains mum about
what happened that night, some of her supporters aren't as reticent.
Renee's friend Kathy Brown told
police she thinks Renee's therapists should be held partially
accountable for David's death. They reinforced Renee's worst beliefs
about her son, Brown said, by telling Renee that little David was
doomed to lead a life of crime and would never be a normal person.
Haralson told police in an
interview last month that she does not believe Renee killed David.
"Sometimes these crazy kids just up and die," Haralson said,
according to the investigator's report. "Sometimes they have an
emotional overload and just lose the will to live, and they just
die."
During the course of the
conversation, investigators noted, Haralson referred to David as
"that unattached, crazy kid" approximately 30 to 35 times.
"Haralson told me that she still
thinks Renee Polreis is a good, loving mother," the officer wrote,
"and she would turn another child over to Renee this day if she were
able to.
A Deep Attachment : A New Mexico
couple grieves for David Polreis, the prospective son they never got
to meet
March 13, 1997
By Karen Bowers
Jim and Jamie Nesmith are grieving
over the death of David Polreis, a little boy they never met but
who, under different circumstances, could have become their son.
They had hoped to adopt the two-year-old Russian orphan when the
woman who'd brought him to this country decided, after just seven
months, that she wanted to relinquish custody. They were told there
was a "big problem" between the mother and child. The Nesmiths were
well into the process of orientation, home visitation and background
checks that would have enabled them to adopt the boy when they were
told that David's adoptive mother had changed her mind.
Two weeks later David was dead, and
his adoptive mother, Renee Polreis, was being booked into the Weld
County jail, charged with beating him to death with a wooden spoon
("Whipping Boy," October 10, 1996).
It took a year for word of David's
death to reach the Nesmiths, during which time they had adopted two
other Russian orphans, a girl and a boy. But now that they know the
truth about David, it's almost as if they've lost one of their
own--Jamie cries when she talks about the boy, and Jim was unable to
hold back his tears when he visited David's grave.
"I'm in the angry stage of grief,"
says Jamie, who works for the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization
Service in Albuquerque. "I haven't accepted it yet. I'm angry that
he's dead."
She's also angry at Renee Polreis
and at those who are helping lend support to a controversial defense
her attorneys hope to use in Polreis's trial, scheduled to start
March 31. If successful in their pre-trial arguments (to be heard
March 21), Polreis's attorneys will introduce evidence they say will
prove that David suffered from reactive attachment disorder, a
psychological theory used to explain why some children are violent,
uncommunicative and cannot or will not bond to their mothers. The
defense team has gone further, suggesting that two-year-old David
caused the injuries that resulted in his death.
Attorneys on both sides say they
think this would be the first use of an attachment-disorder defense
in a homicide case.
Renee Polreis and her husband,
David, lived a comfortable, though childless, existence in Greeley
until 1992, when they adopted an infant boy they named Isaac. Three
years later, when the process of adopting a second American baby
seemed to have bogged down in bureaucracy, the Polreises decided to
adopt a Russian child. They wanted a boy, Renee told staffers at the
Rainbow House adoption agency. They wanted a two-year-old.
Rainbow House staffers then showed
the Polreises a video of a bright, tow-headed tot who needed a home.
And in July 1995, despite Renee's reported anxiety about stepping
foot in an "atheist country," the Polreises traveled to Russia to
pick up their new son.
The adoption was troubled from the
start. David cried a lot, Renee complained, and he vomited in the
car when they left the orphanage. Things worsened when they got back
to this country. David had temper tantrums during which he'd throw
himself on the floor and scream. He spit on his brother Isaac. And
he wasn't becoming attached to Renee.
By that fall, Renee had begun
taking David to psychologist Byron Norton, whose take on attachment
disorder apparently fed into Renee's fears. According to Renee's
friends, the therapist told her that there was no cure for
attachment disorder and that the boy would become a stone-cold
criminal, a la Ted Bundy or the Unabomber. After an incident in
which David bit her finger to the bone, Renee grew afraid of him and
expressed her desire to relinquish custody. Friends said Renee
related a conversation with Norton in which she told him she feared
that if she ever hit David, she would not be able to stop.
Renee's husband, however, was
reluctant to give up the boy. And she told friends that if she did
relinquish custody, she was afraid it would ruin her marriage.
It was at about this time, in late
November or early December 1995, that Jamie Nesmith says she first
spoke to Rainbow House staffers in New Mexico about the possibility
of adopting a foreign-born child. As an immigration officer, she'd
dealt with the agency for about nine years, and she was impressed by
its professionalism.
"I asked [the staff director] if
they ever get any children back. I think that's the way I put it,"
Jamie says. "And she said they very rarely do and that in sixteen
years they'd had relinquishments in less than 1 percent of the
cases.
"But she said that she was watching
one case closely in Colorado because there was a big problem between
the child and his mother. She said he was two and cute. And until
this year, that's all I knew."
After discussing the situation over
the course of a week, the Nesmiths decided to try to adopt the boy,
whose name they did not know.
"Poor little guy, comes over from
Russia to a strange culture, and suddenly his new home has
problems," Jim Nesmith says of their decision to try to take in the
toddler. "We felt we could provide a stable environment, a stable
place, and we felt we had some things we could offer. Jamie had
raised two biological children, and she works miracles with little
kids. It sounded appealing."
The Nesmiths began attending the
all-day classes for potential adoptive parents, which included
discussions of attachment disorder and other parenting issues. They
filled out the necessary paperwork. And every couple of weeks, Jamie
would ask about the boy and his parents, checking to see if a
decision had been made about relinquishment.
"The last time I asked--it was
around the end of January [1996] or the first of February, somewhere
around there--I was told that his parents were going to try to work
it out," Jamie says. "The director told me that the parents had
taken a trip to Mexico and that they were getting good counseling,
or that it had been set up. And I thought everything had worked
out."
The Nesmiths say they were happy
for the boy, but by that time, their hearts were committed to
parenting. They decided to adopt a three-year-old girl whose video
they'd seen. And then their attention was riveted by a younger boy,
aged two. "We didn't start out to get two," Jamie says. "But that's
what happened." Three months after learning that they could not
adopt David, the Nesmiths returned from Russia with the children
they named Laura and Josh.
The Polreises' trip to Mexico that
Jamie had heard about took place at a time when Renee was nearing
the end of her rope with David. In January 1996 Renee told Fort
Collins therapist Lloyd Boggs that if he could not see her prior to
her weekend getaway to Mexico, she would not come back. She later
told friends that the initial meeting with Boggs had gone very well
and that she felt optimistic about her future and that of her son.
The trip to Mexico, which she and
her husband had taken without the kids, was "heaven," Renee told
friends when she returned. But coming back to Greeley and to young
David, she said, was "hell."
Soon after their return, Renee's
husband planned a weekend trip to Houston. It would be Renee's first
time alone with the boys. David left town on Thursday morning,
February 8. The following night, Renee's brother, Kevin Risk, took
her son Isaac to spend the night at his house. At approximately 4
a.m. February 10, Renee phoned her brother and said that David had
choked on vomit and that he wasn't breathing. When Risk arrived,
Renee told him David had been sleeping with her in her bed when he
began choking. Risk told his sister to phone paramedics.
But before calling for an
ambulance, Renee phoned Norton and Boggs--both of whom reportedly
told an attorney that Renee admitted hurting the boy. Renee did not
call for medical help until approximately 4:20 a.m., and she
remained silent when paramedics asked her what had happened to
David.
The moment David arrived at North
Colorado Medical Center in Greeley, doctors suspected that he might
have been beaten, although they considered an alternative theory
that the boy's horrific bruising, which covered 90 percent of his
body, might have been caused by a raging infection.
David's condition was so grave that
he was flown by helicopter to Children's Hospital in Denver to be
treated by a trauma team that specializes in child-abuse cases. Dr.
Emily Dobyn later told police that he had received "one of the worst
beatings [she'd] ever seen." David was pronounced dead at 11:30 that
morning. He was two months shy of his third birthday.
Renee never saw David at the
hospital because, she told a police officer, she was
"hospital-phobic" and she'd been busy trying to find a lawyer.
In a search of the Polreis house
that same morning, police discovered two broken wooden spoons in a
kitchen trash can. One of the spoons was wrapped inside a bloody
diaper.
Social workers, concerned for the
safety of the Polreises' son Isaac, removed the boy from the home.
Within a month or so, however, mother and son were reunited. (At a
child-custody hearing held last week regarding Isaac's placement,
that arrangement reportedly was made permanent.)
Renee was arrested the day after
David's death and had barely posted the $80,000 cash bond when a
defense theory began taking root. The Polreis family asked that in
lieu of flowers for David's funeral, contributions be sent to the
Attachment Center in Evergreen--a clinic that specializes in
treating children with attachment disorders, but a place to which
Renee had never taken her son. And both she and her husband began
collecting names of doctors who treat children with the alleged
disorder.
From that time on, proponents of
the attachment theory and parents of other disturbed adopted
children began rallying around the Polreises.
Pennsylvania housewife Thais Tepper
claims no special knowledge of the Polreis case, but she has become
something of an expert regarding attachment disorder. She adopted a
boy from a Romanian orphanage in 1991 and then spent the next two
years dragging him from doctor to doctor in an attempt to discover
the cause of his autistic-like symptoms. She finally found an answer
at a Washington, D.C., institute that specializes in the study of
the psychological disorders of early childhood. Her child, she was
told, had an attachment disorder.
"I came to realize," Tepper says,
"that I couldn't be the only one with an adopted child from an
orphanage who looked and acted like this." She began contacting
other families and within a week found 24 other parents whose
adopted children exhibited similar problems. Within six months the
number grew to 150. And since April 1993, after forming a group
called the Parent Network for the Post-Institutionalized Child, she
and others in the organization have answered 4,000 requests for
information. They process 30 to 50 applications or letters each
week, Tepper says, and the group recently held a conference--their
eighth--in Chicago.
"To say that all children with
attachment disorder will become Ted Bundys is absurd," Tepper says.
But after a flood of Russian children began arriving in the United
States in the mid-Nineties, her group began hearing from parents
whose children suffered severe emotional problems and who seemed
more violent and self-destructive than the Romanian children.
"One [Russian] boy," Tepper says,
"tried to walk out a seventh-story window. One tried to snip his
penis off with a pair of scissors. One child took a hammer and
killed 24 chicks. One kept a dead cat in a plastic bag under the
porch. Several children have attempted suicide or talked about it.
I've heard of them breaking glasses and then sticking the shards
into their arms and laughing.
"Smashing their heads into stuff is
very popular--running into poles, into sides of buildings. I know
someone whose child wears a helmet because she bashed her teeth
out." Nothing, Tepper says, is surprising to her anymore. And that
includes the story of David and Renee Polreis. In fact, says Tepper,
the death of an adopted Russian child is something she's been
expecting for years. She says she can believe that a child such as
David could end up killing himself. And she can also imagine an
overwrought mother killing an attachment-disordered child.
"I recently talked to a woman in
New Jersey who told me, 'I hate who I have become,'" Tepper says.
"She said, 'I was not prepared for what this would do to my family.
It has literally destroyed me.'
"I can't tell you how many parents
have said to me that when their child is sick that they wish their
child would die. The only unique thing about Renee is that her child
is dead."
And for those reasons, Tepper says,
she is infuriated by Weld County Deputy District Attorney Todd
Taylor's stated contention that attachment disorder is "pop
psychology at best and voodoo at worst."
Reactive attachment disorder may be
a legitimate diagnosis in the cases of some children bent on
self-abusive behavior, concedes a pediatric pathologist who asked
that his name not be used. But he says the defense suggestion that
David may have caused his own injuries is ridiculous. "A
three-year-old does not have the developmental capability of
carrying out a systematic, brutal beating on himself," says the
doctor.
That David might have caused his
own fatal injuries, the doctor adds, "is the most bullshit argument
I've ever heard."
The Nesmiths, while less outspoken
than the doctor, believe that a snap diagnosis of attachment
disorder can interfere with the way a parent deals with a child. "It
becomes such a huge thing in the minds of those who have children
with attachment problems that they try to [apply] it to every family
and insist that we all have problem children," Jamie says. "And we
don't."
If a disciple of the attachment
theory had seen her son when he first arrived in the United States,
Jamie says, "they would have said he had it, because I couldn't hold
him without him biting me." Now, she says, she and her son are very
close.
"They don't know that this new
person is their mother," Jamie says of the children. "All they know
is that this person yanked them out of familiar surroundings. You
have to look at it from their point of view--it was our choice, not
theirs, that this happened. They are not there to fulfill us. We are
a resource to tend to them and nurture them." Still, she and her
husband say they have received a great deal of happiness from their
children, and they hope to adopt a third child in another year or
two.
The Nesmiths were able to work
through their children's emotional upheaval, but they did have
concerns about their health--both Josh and Laura tested positive for
hepatitis B. Seeking support, Jamie began logging on to a computer
chat room devoted to parents who'd adopted Russian children. One day
while on the chat line, she read a note by someone who mentioned
that she was concerned about a woman in Colorado who'd killed her
child.
"Something went up my spine," Jamie
says, and she "knew" it was the same child she and her husband had
tried to adopt. She found an Internet article on the Polreis case
that contained a reference to the Polreises' trip to Mexico, which
intensified her suspicions.
That same night, Jamie says, she
sent an e-mail message to the director of Rainbow House seeking
confirmation of the boy's identity. "I told them, 'I'm in shock,'"
Jamie says now. "I said, 'I feel like I've been punched in the
stomach.'"
Yes, Jamie was told, David Polreis
was the boy she'd been trying to adopt. Agency workers hadn't told
her sooner, they explained, because they, too, were grieving.
The mourning for the boy she and
her husband never met "has been awful," Jamie says. "I have never
even seen a picture of him, but I care about him."
Last month Jim Nesmith made a
special trip to Greeley to see David's grave. "I arrived just as the
sun was rising," he tells Westword. "It was incredibly sad. Poor
little David.
"I am not a man given to extremes
of emotion, but standing over his grave in the crisp morning air and
the rising sun blasting me in the face, I lost it. I cried, raged
and prayed for that little boy. Nobody stood up to defend and
protect him."
Webography
Karen
Bowers, “Terrible two,” Westword, 10 Oct 1996
Karen
Bowers, “A deep attachment,” Westword, 13 Mar 1997
Karen
Bowers, “Psychological warfare,”Westword, 27 Mar 1997
Peter
S. Cannellos, “Adoption ends in death, uproar,” Boston
Globe, 17 Apr 1997
Karen
Bowers, “Little boy lost,” Westword, 22 May 1997
Miriam
Horn, “A dead child, a troubling defense,” US News & World
Report, 14 Jul 1997
Amy
Engeler, “An adoption tragedy: Did this baby ever have a
chance?” Redbook, 1 Sep 1997
Lori
Leibovich, “A parent’s worst nightmare,” Salon, 30 Sep
1997
Karen
Bowers, “Suffer the children,” Westword, 27 Jul 2000
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